When I went to Literature Crusades in Chicago the training was great. We had intensive Bible training for six months.

We studied Old and New Testament, Children ministries, Cults, Homiletics, Exegesis, Apologetics, Etc.

But not much on witnessing. Yet that was what we were to do as we went out as teams during our training. We went door to door, to the Airport (amongst the Hari Krishna’s) and to the mall. Our tool was doing a supposedly Christian survey.

“Hello I am doing a survey” …

I hated it. I felt like I was intruding on people. Finally I gathered the courage and resolve to do the survey but internally hoped they would not respond. If they did!!! Then what??? I would have to defend my Christianity. Yikes!

Some people had results but not most. It was just an errand we had to do as part of the training. But we were not trained to do what we were supposed to do.

Then off to Florida into the midst of the retirement world. Most of the people in Stuart, Florida were retires from the Eastern Seaboard. They had lived their lives in New York and New Jersey.

It was our job to go door to door taking these surveys. Wow! What a failure I felt like. One man tried to convert me. Many told us off “we moved here to get away from you kind of people” “get the h… out of here”, in a New Jersey Italian accent.

My time seemed to be wasted and I had an overwhelming guilt from my inadequacy to do what was thought to be the prime reason for my existence.